Misstuned

Mari has realized, the viral advertising on her site really is…killing it.

Mari intends to get a real job¹ as soon as possible, and totally quit any sort of advertising on her site.
Not only does it make Mari jump through unneccesary and irritating hoops, but it helps contribute to a list of reasons why Mari thinks her site sucks and generally doesn’t want to work on it.

Here is a list of Mari’s problems with PPP:

1. Little of the opportunities are from what seem to be legitimate, established businesses. Honestly, Mari has never heard of 99% of these things and never intends to return to the sites.
2. It forces Mari to be optimistic. Mari is an extremely pessimistic person. Mari wakes up and tells the sun to f#!% off, says anything of remotely questionable quality sucks², and generally doesn’t like trying to have to be optimistic (read: lie through her teeth) to sell something. Mari never liked advertising or the idea of selling stuff.
3. PPP does not allow links other than the sponsor’s link in the post. That drives Mari UP THE F!#!^!’ WALL. Mari links to everything and anything possible, so not being able to explain definitions of niche-specific knowledges and references to Mari’s own posts to her visitors just makes Mari want to rip her hair out. Mari tries to write for a wider audience other than other bloggers, and however blowfully she does so, it’s her f!$#%^’ right to do so on her own site.
4. Not only are the advertisers mostly the same sites that end up in Akismet’s spam pile, but they often make ridiculous demands in the opportunity descriptions (and often for only 5 dollars compensation). It’s obvious that they’ve been told how to game Google and other search engines, and that’s all they’re after. It sickens Mari. Mari will link to whatever phrase she feels like. Whole sentences even. And though Mari realizes she’s an idiot to do so, it’s her prerogative and her domain name.
5. It makes Mari’s blog feel like a low-rated TV show, except the advertising is more frequent. Mari can’t have two sponsored posts touching. And you know, what, it really does tick Mari off. Honestly, do TV networks split shows up every other minute for an ad? They ought to just let bloggers run their 2-3 sponsored post commercial before going back to regular programming. Advertising becomes evil when it’s designed to control the flow of the media it’s in.
6. It’s majorly cramping Mari’s style. Mari is a rebel, and this is way too conformist, man³.

However, Mari must note, one good thing about PPP is they don’t seem to be an inherently evil company. They have yet to strike Mari down for voicing her complaints and opinions. That’s either because they don’t care, or that they don’t look for dissent among the ranks. Either way, it’s a good point. Most companies *cough*AT&T*cough* will force you to enter abusive contracts that demand you kiss their @$$ just because you use their service, and that you can’t say anything to the contrary, or they’ll kick you to the curb.

You know what Mari calls that in a EULA or contract? The abusive boyfriend clause. Companies that do this act just like an abusive boyfriend. They strong-arm you into doing what they want, you’re forbidden from protesting, and they make you feel worthless as a customer.

¹ Mari is such a loser that McDonald’s wouldn’t hire her. They chose a 16 year old instead (probably because they don’t have to pay minors as much). Mari - IQ=140; Occupation=Hikikomori T_T;;;;
² Mostly TV and movies. Mari usually doesn’t watch something unless she’s heard that Roger Ebert fell to his knees and wept because it was so incredibly awe-inspiring.
³ Mari is kinda laughing at herself reading that. Don’t take it too seriously. Mari really does not like to be told what to do by anyone, though. Mari has major problems with authority.